74

Being Alone and being THANKFUL for it.


"Because it’s often in moments of solitude where you realize just how not alone you are. In fact, when you take a moment to be intentionally alone, to absorb everything through the sole filter of your perception, you understand that life is filled with people and things who accompany you. There is a confidence that comes from being alone, a happiness in the more simple pleasures that often go unnoticed when we are distracted by the presence and opinions of others. The crusty bread crackles in your ear when you tear a piece off. The steam from the coffee hits the tip of your nose as you put it to your lips. The small conversations that happen with the man you buy your produce from, or the girl let ahead of you on the subway, all become a kind of warm blanket of confirmation and life. The chatter around you can fill you up with varying degrees of comprehension, tuning in and out when it suits you. You are miles away from alone.
And it is perhaps this that it is most beautiful, most necessary about aloneness. It is realizing that what you’ve always feared, what you’ve always heard such horror stories about, isn’t being alone. It’s not “dying alone,” as if that were even a concrete concept. It’s all of the things that can lead to aloneness, it is the heartbreak whose pain we want to pawn off on the moments we’re sitting by ourselves in front of our stereo listening to the same song over and over again. The pain in loneliness comes from all that surrounds it, not the act itself. And when you spend enough quality time alone, you realize that it is indeed nothing to fear. You realize that you, by yourself, are happy and are confirmed in life and worth by everything around you. And though it will not take the edge off of the painful few moments that lead to us being alone, it is worth reminding ourselves that just because we’re eating alone at a restaurant doesn’t mean we aren’t in wonderful company." - Thought Catalog.

73

Today I'm thankful for FIFTY degrees!! Which, somehow, feels like 80 degrees! The past week and a half upstate NY has had some frigid temperatures. Like below zero. And I know, it's winter, get a jacket...blah blah, but home-girl don't play those kind of temps. Today my car thermometer read 50 degrees and I almost contemplated wearing flip flops to work, just as a big "suck it, winter!" I didn't But...seriously, 50 degrees. I love you.

69, 70, 71, 72

Day 69: I'm thankful for knowing the definition of insanity.

Day 70: I'm thankful for realizing the definition of insanity is rearing it's ugly head in my life.

Day 71: I'm thankful for taking action and stomping out the insanity in my life.

Day 72: Today. I'm thankful for small victories! Today is day 3 of my journey forward of ridding the insanity from my life.

I've been slacking on the weekend because I've been jam packing them with things that make me smile. This weekend was my birthday and I was surrounded by love, despite some minor (insane) blips. However, rather then taking a "woe is me," attitude, I'm choosing to see it as a defining moment of CLARITY.

68!

Tonight I'm starting my birthday weekend with some great friends at my favorite bar/restaurant.

I haven't yet expressed my gratitude for Max London's but it should be noted. This restaurant has quite possibly the best menu and food in Saratoga. Paired with a great bar scene and great music, always, Max's is the beesknees.

Can't wait to get there tonight and be together with some of the coolest people I know. :)

67

Positive quotes and articles that contribute to all things silver linings.

Today I'm cultivating all things that make me happy and included in that are reading lots of quotes, inspiration, yet not cheesy, affirmations, that put my shit in perspective!

"Ride the wave..."

:)

Get Your Kicks...

66.


Today I'm sharing a great article full of 36 things to be thankful for, but one great, overall picture. I'm thankful that I came across this list of "life lessons." I am living them and even though they are not from my mother, my mom definitely encouraged me to cultivate lots of these ideals.

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/01/life-lessons-for-my-daughters-dawn-meysel/


"Don't just exist."

<3

61-65.

Wow, I totally let the past couple of days escape me and I really hate the excuse, but I was traveling. I went to Maine to visit my great friends and my god-daughter.

I'm choosing not to look back on days 61-65 and reflect on each one, but instead, be grateful for one all consuming thing...easy friendships.

Easy friendships are those that you can pick up at any given time or place. Not to be confused with taking them for granted, but the parties involved know you, deep down, and love you forever. You can be your 100% self with them. Easy friendships have an effortless bond that can stand time and distance.

My trip to Maine was an example of this. Three very busy, hard working adults, came together after months have passed with only Facebook status updates, and enjoyed themselves fully. Talking, laughing, eating, dancing...anything and everything unfolded naturally and in turn, made me very happy.

I needed this escape and I needed the comfort of my friends. I have several trips lined up that are for the purpose of comfort and I'm looking forward to them very much.

Sixty!

Day 60! Today, despite the anxiety they provoke, I'm thankful for first dates. A fresh new start to meet someone new. While they may be nerve racking, or awful for that matter, sometimes they are nice and they make you laugh. I had a first date last night and it left me smiling, and so for that, I'm grateful for that possibility of having a great first date....and thankful for the kiss at the end of the night as he walks you to your door. If you are so lucky. ;)


"One of the reasons some people still risk the possible horror of a first date is the possible magic of the first kiss at the front door. The world slows down just for a second as some people take that hopeful lean into a possible future together." - Sex and the City.

59.

Today I'm thankful for the west coast. California, to be exact. Although I've only been there once, it's a place I can seek refuge. My best friend from college, Erin, lives there. She moved there when she graduated and has been soaking up the sun ever since. We don't get to see each other often and our phone dates have dwindled because life is hectic but when we do connect it's perfect. It's the calm and comfort that I'm seeking and I can find it in Cali. So, I'm going. I booked a flight yesterday and today I've been day dreaming about the sun, waves, bike rides, and Fitzy!

Joni Mitchell's song, "California," is one of my favs, and even thought I can't call California, "home," I still consider it close to it because Fitzy lives there, and to me she is a small piece of home.

And On the 58th Day..

I'm thankful for CONCERTS!

YES. In the wake of all this sad news there was a light at the end of the tunnel when my TicketMaster account alerted me to the fact that Passion Pit and Matt & Kim are playing, together,  in my area, in less than a month!

Concerts and music and lyrics and melodies. They are my therapy. They make me feel good and tingly all over, and then spark emotions I've never felt and they are awesome. Concerts make me smile. So thank you TicketMaster and Passion Pit and Matt & Kim. I needed you today.

Purchased: 1 ticket for February 11th. 'Cited. Really 'cited!  :)




"....just one note can make me float, can make me float away" - RHCP.

57

January 14th!

57. Wow. 57 days already. Today I'm thankful for Monday's the fly. Today went by so quickly at work. I scooted out at 3:30 and spent time with 2 great friends today. Time flies when you're having fun? Hm...maybe work really is fun.


HA ...just kidding.

55, 56...

55 was Saturday. Still trying my hardest to cultivate gratitude. It's exhausting. I was hoping that the ease from the past 50 days would carry over to assist me in feeling thankful, when I'm feeling blue, but it hasn't. However today I'm reverting back to my original rules. listing something that brings a smile to my face or someone elses. Today was the grand opening for my second family's new yoga studio down in Latham. Hot Yoga Saratoga was BUMPING. There was an amazing turn out of new faces and returning students that came to support. The owner Cindy was so thankful how it all turned out. We celebrated big time and I hope this was a foreshadow of what her business will be like down the road!




56 Sunday: Comfort. I'm thankful for people who have been in my life for a long time. The people that you may have lost touch with but will be there for you in a heartbeat because deep down there is a level of care and respect you never lose for each other. I'm thankful for those people. Saturday I received more upsetting news and I felt a void in myself that could only be filled by familiarity. All I wanted with to snuggle up beside Meach, or Fitzy or any friend from my past that know me and that I know truly care for me. Since they are not living in Saratoga I went to another friend, that I may not be super close with anymore but knows me and I know him. And the unspoken level of respect and love for each other was all i needed to feel at ease, at 3am. A simple text exchange that left my heart feeling a bit better. Thank you to those friends who I grew up with and may not see anymore. I love you with everything I've got. I need you more than you know and because of this realization, I'm gonna do everything in my power to keep our bond alive.

Slacker.

I've been slacking. I missed 2 days, and not because I was busy, but because I was sad. I realized and took notice of just how easy it is to slack off, and to be miserable. I noticed that once I stopped recognizing the little things that make me happy, I couldn't stop focusing on the big things that make me unhappy. It's easy to be miserable. I can see why, more often than not, most people are miserable. It's a vicious cycle that starts very quickly.  So with that said, I'm stopping it in it's tracks. We may not receive great news everyday, and that's OK, but it's up to us to cultivate happiness somewhere. It's all up to us. No one else can do it for you, we are responsible.

So. STOPPING. Right now.

Of the 2 days I missed, 52 and 53, I will say that my silver-lining to both of those days was speaking to my best friend from home on the phone. Brynn has been there for me and I for her, through good times and bad...wait, is that a song lyric? Ha ha, I digress. Even though our topic of conversation didn't bring a smile to my face, I still was able to connect with her and hear her supporting words. She lives in Manhattan and we, and all my girls from home, try our hardest to see each other whenever we can. And on day 53, Brynn asked if she could take me out to dinner for my birthday coming up at the end of the month and I said yes. I am not one to wish for the future to happen sooner, but in this case, I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE 27th!!! :)

Today: today just started, but I can already tell you what captivated me and got my thankful wheels-a-turnin'. The pink sky. I don't what's going on in that troposphere of ours but the past three mornings the sky has been this romantic shade of magenta pink. I can't describe it, but it was overwhelmingly beautiful. Each time I took notice of how Mother Earth was shakin' her groove thing I was driving so I couldn't even snap a photo. The picture however will reside safely in my mind forever and I will take it out of safe keeping whenever I need to envision beauty, calmness and warmth. (54)

51.

Today I am doubly thankful. I woke up to the SUN. Ahhh those sweet beams shining into my window made me instantly think, "oh my goodness, i haven't seen the sun in forever it feels." It was a special early morning greeting.

ALSO, another early morning treat was something my roommate left for me. I had a terribly bad day yesterday, for reasons I may go into at some point, but for now, just know it was a sad day. I woke up to a text from my roomie saying, "there is something weird in the fridge...idk check it out." I imagined my Trader Joe pea shoots have gone bad and the smell was too much upon opening the door, however, not the case!  When I opened the fridge there was a bakery bag with a note that read, "....it's hard to hate Tiramisu!" He is right. It made me smile, and that was my mantra of today, "Smile. Make this the best day ever."

I'm trying, with the sad news, I'm trying. I got a latte this morning with whipped cream, I didn't put my sunglasses on so that I can absorb as many UV Rays as possible and I plan on eating my Tiramisu for dinner! THANKFUL.

50.

Today was hard. Tomorrow I will wake up and be thankful I had the support systems to get through today....but for right now I'm grateful for something my friend Cindy said to me. See below. That is all.

"Yeah, but people change even after 40 years. Doesnt mean it wasn't real."

Forty Nine.

Today, I'm thankful for my 2 friends, Stephanie and Drew. I was able to finally catch up with Steph, who is recently engaged! Drew proposed the day after Christmas and caught Stephanie totally off guard. The reason I'm so thankful for the two of them is because they instilled a bit more faith and hope in me today, and when I first found out about the proposal. The way Drew went about it was so thoughtful and creative, and full-of-love. Not that I was losing hope, but I still like to be reminded of beautiful, love stories such as this one. They met in college and have one of those relationships that hasn't become stagnant over the years. They are full of fun and love seeking adventure. They keep the love ALIVE! I'm so thankful to be a part of their lives so that I can constantly be reminded that true love does exist.

48

January 5th:

Today I'm thankful for when a Taylor Swift song plays in yoga...and when it comes on I'm like, "oh my godddd I love this song!"

Thanks JB!

<3

46, 47...

46: Today I'm thankful for my new, 2013 Calendar. It's The AWESOME Calendar. Each day when you tear away a page, it lists a new event or thing that is "AWESOME!" I'm doubly thankful for this because it will assist with my blog and also continue to help remind me of the small things in life that make me smile. easy peasy!


Day 47. Friday, and it was a short work week from the holidays. Today I'm thankful for short weeks. 3 day weeks, or technically in my case, 3.5 day work weeks! Don't get me wrong, I'm not the type to live for the wknds. I fill my week with plenty of fun, but having 2 full days of blissful nothingness, where you can plan to spend it however you like, is just fabulous!

Warm Thoughts

Today, it's freezing! When I got into my car today the thermometer read 15 degrees! It's too cold! All I can think about when it's this cold is crawling back into bed because of my warm blankets and comforters....which is what I'm thankful for today. I have my new throw blanket from my roommate, my down comforter and my quilt from Anthropologie. All three combined make for a warm, tropical beachy feeling. Ahhh to be back in Belize...I digress.

My roommate and I are trying to be efficient with resources, read: we'd rather not spend money on utilities but on cooler things, so we haven't turned our heat on yet. It's not that bad because of the building we live in, but it's still extra nice to be under the blankets! While it's hard to leave bed in the morning, it's so nice to return to it later in the evening!

Anyway. Blankets make me happy, especially being under them and being warm! On that note I'm going into hot yoga. Zing!

<3

43, 44...

43! New Year's Eve! I had a full day yesterday. I worked, I lead a yoga class, and I met up with friends for a late supper at our favorite restaurant and a midnight toast. I was thankful to have such a busy day and a full life. I was able to be productive and still find time to be with my friends and share a lovely evening together. While some of my loved ones may not have been in the same place as me last night, I was still able to get in touch with them somehow. So I guess, you could say, on day 43 I'm thankful for balance. We may not love every single responsibility we have in life, but when you can strike a perfect balance, you can learn to appreciate everything.

January 1st, 2013. Day 44. Tuesday. Last night, as posted above, I spent the evening with some dear friends. We sat around the table and shared resolutions and goals for the upcoming year and future. I came to realize that I was amongst three, young, talented business owners. My friend Jeremy who is a skilled carpenter and runs his own business. Jennie, a Bikram Yoga Instructor as well as a health coach, where she has her own clients and is discovering all the new tasks that come along with owning her own business....and last, but not least, my friend Lev. Lev has been busting his butt the past 6 months to get his private tax agency up and running, and he did it! All three of my friends are determined, responsible and very reasonable with the realities of running their own business. I am so excited for them and their years ahead, they have a lot to look forward to and I'm so excited to see them succeed!! So, in summation, I'm thankful for them. I have these 3 amazingly, talented people in my life that I can look up to and call friends.

Happy new year to the blog-o-sphere and to everyone reading! Be thankful!! :)

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